A while ago, I was having dinner with a couple of my good friends/small group leader colleagues at the Olive Garden. Apon this meeting, I inquired of one of the leaders, how their small group was going. He concluded that this evening would be their first official fall meeting after the summer schedule. After revealing this information, I continued to inquire, “How did the Joshua Harris study go? Did you guys finish the book?” It was great to hear that his small group had such great evenings of discussion based upon the book, “Boy Meets Girl.” I think the book is not bad at all really from what I remember of it. And I’m sure JH’s first book, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” wasn’t extremely horrible either. Maybe it was the title that really concerned people and brought some very interesting thought patterns to the Christian dating world.
I think the main thing that Harris is trying to get across in his writing is that Christ needs to be the foundation for any relationship you have with anyone. And actually, I think it goes further than that. Is Christ at the center of your own life? If He isn’t, then how do you think you would be able to go off and start dating? Is that fair to the person you could potentially down the line consider for marriage? Are you being fair to yourself or even wise if our Sovereign God is not the one steering your ship and leading you in your decision making? I think when it comes to dating the only thing we need to think about is God. Let’s not spend the focus of our days on worrying about being single all of our lives. We should be delighting in God and what He has for us now, rejoicing in what He has for our futures to come. If He is our firm foundation, our focus will be on Him.
When we are trusting in Him and relying on Him to make wise decisions, dating will be the most natural step to take with someone who is of the appropriate character. So I urge you to take God into consideration when it comes to dating and ask yourself these questions before you jump on the “single’s pity-party” bandwagon or the “gunshot” romance cruise ship. How is your relationship with the Lord? Are you constantly seeking after Him? Are you delighting in His word and meditating on it? Have you been asking the Lord to reveal any areas of your life currently that would cause strife if involved in a dating relationship or marriage? Have you been seeking God’s word to meditate on and develop your biblical role as a man or woman?
If you are having problems concentrating on God vs. concentrating on a someone you like, BOLDLY ask the Lord to take that person away from you in a way that would not cause you to stumble or distract you from something that you are creating in your mind.
I think we can only truly be content in our singleness if we are content with the Lord. If we can’t be content with the Lord, won’t it be equally hard to be content in dating, in marriage, in anything?
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